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When should one go for Counseling The problems that need counseling.

  • Writer: Jahavi Pore
    Jahavi Pore
  • Sep 29, 2021
  • 7 min read

Probably one of the most important questions of this article, when should you seek a counsellor?


The stereotype of only going to counselling when something is really serious remains strong even today and breaking those stereotypes, here is your answer: No. You can go for counselling even for the issues that seem petty to others, because the purpose of counselling ultimately is to make your life valuable and better. If you feel something doesn’t sit right in your life or that something is just wrong, counselling will help you.


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Clearing this myth, let us see some of the reasons which can give you guidance and a green signal as to when it may be time to see a counsellor.

1. The Doubt

A lot of times, we cannot really figure out the “what” and “why” question. What is exactly wrong with my life? Why do I feel this way? And many times, counselling does help you answer that question. Not only do you start understanding your problems and become self-aware, you also figure out ways to tackle those problems and stop feeling confused.


When in doubt, consider counselling. When you have been thinking about counselling for a long time now and just can’t decide whether to go for it or not, go for it. If anything, counselling will help you clear your head.


As we read in the introduction, counselling is for everyone. Classifying something as petty and brushing it off does not help. Yes, humans are born to solve their own problems and take care of themselves, but a new perspective and a fresh start always does you good and counselling offers you that. When something starts interfering with your life and mental peace, it may be time to see a counsellor. Even if you just need to vent it all out and have someone to really listen to you, counselling will help you with that too. It is actually never a bad idea to see a counsellor and there lies the beauty of it.


Signs that you may need to consult a counsellor may include:


1. You are in a constant state of overwhelm.

2. You can’t seem to stop making choices that are self-defeating.

3. You are stuck in a rut and it’s making you frustrated.

4. You just feel like nobody understands.

5. Your emotions are increasingly out of control and disproportionate responses.

6. You have a feeling that the life you are leading and the person you are pretending to be isn’t who you truly are or what you want to do.

7. You crave a new perspective.

8. You just really need to feel listened to.

9. You want to finally understand why you do the things you do, think the things you think, and feel the things you feel.

10. You secretly suspect your self-esteem isn’t what it could be.

11. You suspect your relationships could be way better than they are.

12. You actually feel fine right now, but you are prone to low moods.

13. You keep getting little comments from friends and family.

14. You are tired of acting strong all the time.

15. You are ready to take responsibility for your life.


An important point to remember here is: Counselling believes in helping you out when you want help yourself. It just doesn’t work with someone forcing you to do it and you doing it reluctantly. You can only go to counselling when you have utmost faith in the practice and yourself and when you genuinely want to go to solve your life’s problems. It believes that you can only benefit from the practice if you really want to and not by someone else making this choice for you.


2. Drinking habits and addiction

Addiction, or dependence on a particular substance or activity, is one of the most complex areas of mental health. Addiction can often be difficult to treat, and there is a good deal of controversy surrounding the causes of addiction and the best approaches to treatment. Individuals who find themselves experiencing an addiction to drugs or alcohol often find the services of a mental health professional to be helpful in overcoming the addiction.


Drug and alcohol abuse or misuse—excessive or inappropriate use of a substance—can be difficult to define, and people’s opinions, values, and beliefs vary significantly on the topic. For some, any use of an illegal drug or any use of alcohol with the primary purpose of intoxication constitutes abuse. For others, abuse is indicated by recurring, negative consequences, such as:


● Failure to meet social, work, and academic obligations.

● Physical injury or illness.

● Alcohol- or drug-related legal problems, such as arrest for driving while intoxicated.

● Relationship problems with intimate partners, friends, and family.

● Impulsivity, such as spending money excessively.

● Diminished interest in other activities.

● Short-term memory loss or blackouts.


Therapists who specialize in addiction recovery can often help people who are addicted set achievable and empowering short-term goals as they work to overcome their addiction. Once sobriety is achieved, adaptive skills can be developed as the person works to regain physical and emotional health, and the therapist can begin to explore the source or cause of the addiction with the person in treatment as the person begins to employ the new coping strategies. Together, the therapist and the person being treated can work to set long-term goals that may include rebuilding damaged relationships, accepting responsibility for actions, and releasing guilt.


With therapy, a person who has become dependent on drugs or alcohol is often more likely to overcome an addiction, and several types of therapy are helpful in this process. In particular, cognitive behavioral therapy and motivational interviewing therapy—a person-centered therapy that relies on the person's inspiration to change—have demonstrated effectiveness in this arena. Sometimes therapy provides a supplemental form of support for someone who is attending a self-help group.


3. Adjustment issues

Sudden changes in life or major transitions in life like getting married, illness, divorce, and work problems can cause worries serving as triggers of stress, but even happy moments can sometimes cause such emotional problems. Our inbuilt abilities to cope up with the applied techniques most of the time are good enough to make us feel adjusted to the new environment with ease in a short period. However, if unable, the adjustment disorder or adjustment issues gives a serious emotional jolt of the maladjustment with a new environment.


Family trauma, painful breakups and moving to new places frightens people. Change is always difficult and counseling helps people to cope with such major events.


Men and women of any age are susceptible to adjustment disorders. However, adult women are more prone to adjustment stress than men. The disorder may have its initiation in a new environment, a new place, a new school, or a newly imposed relationship.


Signs of adjustment disorder are:


● Depressed mood

● Crying spells

● Nervousness

● Excessive worry

● Anxiety and depression

● Socially withdrawn

● Sleep problems

● Low self-esteem

● Irritability

● Change in attitude

● Changes in appetite

● Conduct problems

● Feel of insecurity

● Helplessness

● Withdrawing socially

● Mixed disturbance of emotions and conduct.


Adjustment disorders are diagnosed when we can identify the stressor that led to this and experience symptoms within three months of its occurrence.


Causes of Adjustment Disorder


The stressors are usually of a serious, unusual nature and can include divorce, conflict, moving, academic or work problems, sexuality issues, or any other major life event that is difficult for an individual to cope with or adjust to. The stressor may not seem to be a problem for every person who experiences it. Situations involving a relationship break-up, death, physical move, or natural disaster can even result in an adjustment disorder.


Sometimes, people experience recurring stressors such as exams for students, financial difficulties for individuals, or contact with family members that trigger past traumas. Having a child, retiring or empty nest syndrome also requires adjustments that might take a while to resolve.


Self-Care


Following are some suggestions to help you cope with adjustment disorders:


● Admit to yourself that you are struggling.

● Make sure you get enough rest and eat regular nutritious meals.

● Have a positive attitude appreciating that "This too shall pass".

● Talk with your medical professional about medication options.

● Seek the help of a psychologist who can help you to deal with the situation in a healthy manner.


There isn't any reason for you to withdraw, suffer in silence, or delay the recovery that is open to you soon.


Counseling can help an individual increase their coping skills, reframe negative thoughts, and prepare for future stressors. Medication prescribed temporarily might help while individuals learn new ways of dealing with life in their therapy sessions.


Therapies such as psychotherapy, talk therapy, CBT, individual counseling, group therapy can effectively help you manage adjustment issues.


4. SWOT Analysis

SWOT is the acronym for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats which help a person to understand themselves and grow into better individuals. SWOT analysis proves that one doesn’t need to have any problems as such to go for counseling. The purpose of being self-aware and realizing one’s true potential is enough and a valid reason to go for counseling. Of course, the type of counselor that assists an individual in such type of counseling differs.


Knowing one’s strength or strong points in him, weaknesses present in him, the opportunities available and the threats he has to face is what SWOT analysis helps a person understand.

In human resources, career planning and counseling, the method is “an instrument is often used in strategic planning processes”. SWOT analysis focuses on internal and external reality, examining the strengths and weaknesses within the internal environment, as well as the opportunities and fears related to the outside environment.”


Strength is the principle fixing in the SWOT investigation. strength incorporates information, capacity, ability, expertise, experience, dynamic ability, disposition, strategies, and techniques. One should make an investigation of his strengths. Strength is a valuable resource of a person with the assistance of which he can battle out anything coming in his manner and prevail upon. Just bragging on your pleased belonging strengths isn’t adequate; you ought to build up your insight.


One should detect his weaknesses truly and make their examination. Some of them can be handily enhanced. One should attempt to do that first and convert them into your strength. The absence of information can be refined by picking it up. Abilities can be gained through preparing. Numerous things can be learned through experience and by seeing how seniors come over or prevail upon the conditions. Conversations, perusing, looking for counsel can eliminate the shortcomings inalienable in the individual.


The third element of SWOT investigation is opportunities. There are a few open doors accessible to the individual of fitness and information. One should know his latent capacity and proceed to snatch opportunity accessible to him; he will prevail in his endeavor. One ought not to think in those days. Openings ought not to be missed.


The last element of SWOT examination is the threats. One should spot and recognize the genuine threats and not the nonexistent one. One should also learn to understand and fight those threats.


The golden rule is objectivity, realism of analysis. For this reason, a counselor or a manager requesting an analysis, but especially a client will make recourse to third parties (family, friends, acquaintances) who will confront the personal self-evaluation list with their own parallel list on the subject. Questionnaires can also be used (especially in case of a group, class, work-team).


Counseling helps people realize their true abilities and use them to the fullest. When people become self-aware about their life, they realize that they have full control over it and make independent and the right decisions for themselves.




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